I knew she was drunk(even though she said she wasn't)
We talked about recent events going on in our family then somehow it ventured onto love & relationships. She went on talking about how happy she is with her boyfriend & how she's never felt this in love before. It baffles me to hear this coming from her mouth.. she swore that no man was ever good enough & that love didn't exist. She thinks that i feel like she's an idiot because she's only been with him for a little over a year.( like that's not enough time to figure out if you love a person or not) she compares that to me feeling this way because i was with someone once for five years & she told me from day one that he was an asshole. She tells me that she would get so irritated to hear me cry all the time. even worse, it came to a point where she would full on ignore me so she wouldn't have to hear my problems. She told me that she never wanted to hear it because after all the times i cried i still went back. she called me weak. she said i was stronger than that. She told me i didn't know what it was like to truly be in love because i've been through so many shitty relationships. She also told me that the amount of time you spend with a person doesn't mean shit. She asked me what those five years got me..
she told me that i wasted my time.
straight up told me.
i give her credit. she held out this long to give herself away to someone she truly felt she loved & was ready for. it makes me cry. she knows what she feels and what she wants. the best thing about it is.. she's so sure of it. that is what i admire the most.
She's a different person now.
I know i shouldn't worry about her, it seems like she knows what she wants out of life.
She's ready & only 21.
i'll always see her as my little sister.
a part of me is jealous that she lives this way.
She wants to get married & spend the rest of her life with this guy..
& here i am shaking my head.. but honestly.. who am i to judge?
at least now i can say i'm happy.
with my whole fucking heart & more.
